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Writer's pictureRobyn Farmer

Helping siblings adjust to the new baby: A guide to avoiding sibling rivalry for families in Calgary

Welcoming a new baby into the family is an exciting time, but it can also be challenging for older siblings. Sibling jealousy is a common issue that many families face, but with the right approach, you can help your children adjust smoothly and foster a loving relationship with their new sibling.


At Bump Prenatal and Postpartum Wellness in Calgary, I understand these challenges! Let's explore the psychology of sibling jealousy, ways to involve children in the pregnancy journey, and how you can help them adjust to their new sibling.

A pregnant mom smilies at her daughter who is placing her hand on her baby bump
Involving children in the pregnancy journey can help avoid sibling jealousy.

Understanding sibling jealousy


Sibling jealousy often stems from the fear of losing parental attention. When a new baby arrives, older siblings might feel insecure or threatened by the changes in their environment.


Understanding this psychology can help you address their concerns more effectively. Here are some key points to keep in mind:

  • Fear of Losing Attention: Older children might worry that they will no longer be the center of attention.

  • Changes in Routine: The arrival of a new baby can disrupt the established family routine, causing anxiety for older siblings.

  • Developmental Stage: Younger children might struggle more with jealousy due to their developmental stage and need for parental attention.


Involving children in your pregnancy journey


Involving your children in the pregnancy journey can help them feel included and excited about the new addition to the family. Here's some easy ways you can involve your children with your pregnancy:

  • Share the News Early: Let your children know about the pregnancy in a way that suits their age and understanding. Use simple and positive language that will highlight the exciting positive elements and avoid introducing new fears.

  • Attend Appointments: If possible, let your children attend prenatal appointments. Hearing the baby's heartbeat or seeing an ultrasound can make the experience more real for them.

  • Read Books Together: There are many children's books about becoming an older sibling. Reading these together can help your child understand what to expect.


Should childern be present at the new baby's birth?


Deciding whether children should be present at the birth or come to the hospital to see their new sibling is a personal choice and depends on several factors:

  • Age and Maturity: Younger children might find the birth process overwhelming, while older children might be more curious and interested.

  • Preparation: If you decide to have your children at the birth or hospital, prepare them in advance. Explain what they might see and hear in an age-appropriate way.

  • Support System: Ensure you have a trusted adult who can take care of the children during the birth if needed.


Involving children in baby care without causing jealousy or resentment


Involving older siblings in the care of the new baby can help them feel important and valued. Here’s some easy ways to have older brothers or sisters involved wihout ithout causing jealousy:

  • Assign Age-Appropriate Tasks: Give your children tasks that match their age and abilities. For example, toddlers can fetch diapers, while older children can help with feeding or entertaining the baby.

  • Special Time: Spend one-on-one time with each child to reassure them that they are still loved and important.

  • Positive Reinforcement: Praise your children for their help and involvement. Make sure they know how much you appreciate their efforts.


Helping brothers and sisters adjust to the new baby


Helping siblings adjust to the new baby involves patience, understanding, and consistent effort. Here are some simple pieces of advice to ensure a smooth transition:

1. Maintain Routines

  • Consistency is Key: Keeping your older children’s routines as consistent as possible can provide a sense of security.

  • Involve Them in the Routine: Let them know that they have an important role in the new routine.


2. Address Feelings Openly

  • Encourage Expression: Let your children express their feelings about the new baby, whether positive or negative.

  • Validate Their Emotions: Reassure them that it’s okay to feel a range of emotions and that their feelings are valid.


3. Set Aside Special Time

  • One-on-One Time: Ensure you spend quality one-on-one time with each child regularly.

  • Special Activities: Plan special activities that they enjoy to reinforce their sense of importance.


4. Create Positive Associations

  • Gifts from the Baby: Consider giving your older children a small gift from the baby when they meet for the first time.

  • Celebrate the Role: Emphasize how special it is to be a big brother or sister and celebrate their new role in the family.


5. Address Jealousy Constructively

  • Redirect Negative Behaviors: If jealousy leads to negative behavior, redirect it positively. Offer praise when they behave well.

  • Seek Professional Help: If jealousy becomes a significant issue, consider seeking advice from a child psychologist or counselor. There is no shame involved in this, and seeking early help may mean long term issues are avoided.


What to Do If Jealousy Happens


Despite your best efforts, sibling jealousy can still occur. Here’s how to handle it:

  • Stay Calm: Respond to jealousy with calmness and understanding.

  • Set Clear Boundaries: Ensure that negative behavior towards the baby is not tolerated and explain why it’s important to be kind.

  • Encourage Bonding: Create opportunities for your children to bond with the new baby in fun and engaging ways.


How Bump Prenatal and Postnatal Wellness Can Help


At Bump Prenatal and Postpartum Wellness in Calgary, I understand the complexities of family dynamics when welcoming a new baby.


My personalized approach ensures that your family’s unique needs are met with care and understanding. For more information on how I can support you, visit Bump Prenatal and Postnatal Wellness in Calgary.


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If you found this blog helpful, share it with other parents who might benefit from these tips. For more advice and support, don’t hesitate to reach out to Robyn at Bump Prenatal and Postpartum Wellness in Calgary. Together, we can create a happy and harmonious family environment for your new baby and older children.

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